Can a broken relationship or broken heart ever bring us any benefits?
Can you imagine what kind of question it is, whether it can make someone happy even if it hurts? or even someone may not have thought about its benefits?
Rosie Wilby, author of
The Break-Up Monologues, believes that there are many benefits to breaking up.
Rosie Wilby previously ran a podcast on this topic. She later wrote a book
with the same title.
In this book, she talks
about her personal life. In addition, she has given space in her book to what
she has learned about human relationships while talking to the guests on thepodcast.
She also consulted with therapists,
sociologists, and scientists to write this book. She spoke to BBC about this
book. Rosie Wilby says you can learn a lot from breaking up. Sharing her
experience with the BBC, she said that break-ups are never a good thing, but
they also help people get better.
A chance to understand
yourself
According to
relationship expert Rosie Wilby, a breakup allows us to
reconsider and reflect on ourselves. We need to think about what kind of person
we want to be and how we want to be in a relationship. Experiencing the pain of
a broken relationship can provide us with valuable insights about ourselves,
and help us make better decisions for our future.
Ultimately, the
experience of a breakup is an opportunity for self-discovery and growth. It's a
chance to assess our weaknesses, learn from the past, and make positive changes
for the future. If you ever find yourself pointing fingers at someone else,
remember to introspect and acknowledge your own role in the situation.
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Everyone's experience
is different
Shivani Mishra, a
psychologist and relationship counselor based in Delhi, shares insights on the
complexities of emotional breakups and how they shape the individual
experiences of people. According to her, breaking up is challenging for
everyone, and it affects everyone in different ways
In a conversation with
Fatima Farheen, Shivani Mishra emphasizes, 'When a relationship ends, we gain a
lesson from it.' She adds, 'Breaking up allows us to understand
ourselves better and provides an opportunity for personal growth. We need to acknowledge that mistakes can happen from both sides in a
relationship.
Breaking hearts and the
addiction's habit
Rosie Wilby compares
heartbreak to drug addiction. According to him, after breaking up a
relationship, a person is exactly like a person who is addicted to drugs and he
is restrained from that addiction
Dr. Samir Malhotra
compares the act of breaking someone's heart to the addiction habit.
According to him, after severing a relationship, a person becomes much like
someone addicted, restrained by that habit. Dr. Samir Malhotra also explains
that the oxytocin hormone, when released in the brain, increases attraction towards
another person. This phenomenon is observable in various forms of love. He
states, 'Inside the brain, there's an active process of dopamine hormone. This
is why you feel the urge to meet that person repeatedly. But if you can't meet
them and the relationship is broken, your state is similar to those addicted, who
suffer when deprived of the substance.'
According to Dr. Samir
Malhotra, even in the language of addiction, there is an active process of
dopamine hormone.
Is it necessary to
immediately form new relationships?
Rozie Vilby says -
maintaining a relationship requires a lot of effort. This is a challenging task
because relationships can bring a lot of ups and downs in your life. You need
to reconnect with the good and bad habits of another person. Speaking with BBC Rosie
Wilby says, 'After ending one relationship, it's essential to take some time to
think about yourself before forming another connection.'
However, this doesn't
mean that you should become a hermit or monk or distance yourself from romantic
desires.
Dr. Sameer Malhotra
also takes Rosie Wilby's point further. He says It is a misconception to think
that creating another relationship is necessary to break away from one. The
most significant relationship we can have is with ourselves. It requires a bit
of discipline, a bit of balance, and a bit of self-control," he asserts.
According to Dr.
Malhotra, investing energy in creative pursuits or hobbies is crucial. He
suggests making efforts to improve one's relationship with oneself and
identifying and eliminating one's weaknesses.
He states, "When
it comes to relationships, two things are highly significant. Healthy
connection and maintaining a healthy distance. Understanding this makes it
easier to navigate relationships. It's important to stay close to someone in a
healthy way (healthy connectedness) and keep a certain distance in a healthy
manner (healthy distance). This requires understanding and maintaining
proximity while having some distance between each other. Everyone needs
their own space.
People's Different
Perspectives
According to Shiwani
Mishra Sadhu, people in India are now embracing the idea of break-ups. Experts
suggest that people have come to realize that being in a toxic relationship can
have adverse effects on physical, mental, and emotional well-being. However,
breaking free from a relationship is still considered challenging in India.
Speaking about life
after a breakup, Pooja Shivam Jetli says that one can meet different people,
initiate healthy conversations, start life afresh, and, most importantly, learn
more about oneself. Shiwani Mishra Sadhu encourages expressing oneself after a
breakup, stating, 'You can find happiness after a break-up.
